Parks and Recreation

"I pride myself on being a woman of many talents."

"Money is everything. Well, not everything. Money is only 99% everything."

"Sometimes you need to just breathe and let things go."

"I have no patience for incompetence."

"Breakfast food is my favorite food."

"I am not a robot. I have feelings and dreams just like everyone else."

"Don't start a problem. You will not win."

"Everything hurts and I'm dying."

"I want to make it clear that I am powerful and I will always be powerful."

"You're my best friend, and I love you. Now let's never speak of this again."

"I'm not crying. I'm just leaking."

"Treat yo'self."

"The only rule I follow is that there are no rules."

"I believe in myself... which is my only problem."

"Life's not about the destination, it's about the eviction notices along the way."

"Success is relative. I'm a relative failure."

"I'm basically a walking advertisement for bad life choices."

"Love makes the world go 'round. Desperation keeps me spinning."

"I've mastered the art of starting over."

"The truth will set you free... to be more broke."

"I'm a dreamer with nightmares for a life."

"Wisdom comes from experience. I've got plenty of bad experience."

"Change is the only constant in my life. So is debt."

"I respect courage, which is why I'm always running."

"Tomorrow's another chance to fail spectacularly."

"I'm a renaissance man... of terrible life choices."

"The best medicine is laughter and free beer."

"I've never let a little thing like bankruptcy stop me."

"Persistence is just refusing to accept defeat... four times over."

"I once tried meditation. I fell asleep and got robbed."