Parks and Recreation

"My imagination is my only asset."

"I believe in power... the power of poor decisions."

"Solitude is just what I call being alone and broke."

"I've never been to a war, but I've been in ones with myself."

"Death is just another thing I'm running from."

"Kindness is nice, but money is nicer."

"I'm known for my reliability... at being unreliable."

"Gratitude is for people with stable income."

"Inspiration comes from bad decisions and tequila."

"War and peace are both overrated. Indifference is key."

"Politics? I AM the politics."

"Literature is great if you can read."

"I'm basically a philosopher who dropped out of everything."

"Creativity is problem-solving drunk."

"I've had many names, not all by choice."

"Justice is just a word rich people use."

"Faith in what? My luck? That's not faith, that's insanity."

"Music speaks to the soul. My soul's bankrupt."

"I've seen nature. Mostly from my car while fleeing cops."

"Peace is overrated. Chaos is my natural state."

"I once read a book. It was a menu."

"History doesn't repeat itself, but I do the same mistakes."

"Technology is cool, but analog bankruptcy is cooler."

"I'm a man of principle... no principles, but I'm a man."

"Hope is the last thing to go. Right after my credit."

"I've been fired more times than I've been hired."

"Strength is knowing when to quit."

"I'm basically a motivational speaker for bad ideas."

"The secret to happiness is lowering your expectations."

"Life's a gamble, and I always bet wrong."