Parks and Recreation

"I've been married three times. I don't believe in divorce. If you marry someone, you stay married."

"Everything you need is in this room: whiskey, cigars, and a beautiful desk."

"I work hard to build something that will outlast me."

"Hunting and fishing subjects people to go outside, where they belong."

"Government should do less."

"I'm a simple man with simple tastes. I like lumber, and the smell of rich mahogany."

"There are three ways to do things: the right way, the wrong way, and the Ron Swanson way."

"I'm not interested in caring about people."

"When I eat, it is the food that is scared."

"Crying: acceptable at funerals and the Grand Canyon."

"The less I know about other people's affairs, the better I sleep at night."

"Breakfast foods are sacred. Treat them with respect."

"Any dog under fifty pounds is a cat, and cats are useless."

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."

"I have no political affiliation. I'm a registered Libertarian."

"I believe in tomorrow."

"The best days are spent with good people doing important work."

"I'm going to create something amazing."

"Government is about service, not power."

"I love April more than I love myself."

"You can't buy happiness. You earn it through hard work."

"I'm going to make a real difference here."

"Never stop believing in yourself."

"I believe in the power of good people."

"People matter more than politics."

"I'm going to be great at this job."

"Good things take time and effort."

"I love the United States. I love this city."

"The future is bright if we work together."

"I'm going to succeed because I never give up."