Parks and Recreation

"I don't believe in participation trophies. Everyone gets what they earn."

"Nothing is better than the smell of fresh-cut wood."

"I've been avoiding you for weeks."

"I support every man woman and child in this country the same way."

"Time is money, and I don't have time for nonsense."

"I regret nothing. The end."

"I have complete faith in the system and I'm content."

"A person should own what they build."

"I don't believe in cell phones, e-mail, or other modern inventions."

"I swear on the Constitution of the United States that I have told the truth."

"Without commitment, you'll never start, and without consistency, you'll never succeed."

"I hate most people. There are times when I hate myself."

"You've got to lead by example."

"I created a small area within my office for a meditation and yoga retreat."

"Never trust a man who doesn't appreciate a good piece of wood."

"I am a simple man. I enjoy the simple pleasures of life."

"Vegetarians are a scourge."

"I believe in having a job you love that pays you well."

"A person who buys a chair without sitting in it first is a fool."

"Revenge is a dish best served cold, with mashed potatoes."

"I've never cared what anyone thinks of me."

"Build your own furniture. It teaches you respect for craftsmanship."

"Smiling is the best way to fake happiness."

"I'm a one-woman man and I always have been."

"Everything I need is in this wooden desk."

"Government workers get better health insurance than private sector workers."

"A source of endless confusion for me is why women are allowed to be in the workforce."

"I'm not interested in education. I prefer learning by doing."

"Respect the people you work with and work hard."

"Fish and plankton, sea-birds and sea-plants, all must die, eventually."