Parks and Recreation

"I've been in love three times this week."

"Love is a scam designed by Hallmark."

"I'm basically a renaissance man."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have."

"I've reinvented myself so many times, I don't know who I am anymore."

"Change is for people without money."

"I don't believe in climate change or science."

"My life philosophy is: work hard, play hard, dance harder."

"You can't put a price on stupidity."

"I'm basically a professional dancer."

"The truth is overrated."

"Education is a scam invented by teachers."

"I've never had a real job, and I never plan to."

"Friendship is a beautiful thing, unless you owe them money."

"I'm like a hunter. I hunt for gold and women."

"You gotta know when to hold 'em, know when to fold 'em."

"I've been dead inside for years."

"Never, ever, ever go to a hospital. That's where they kill you."

"I believe in following your dreams, as long as they involve me."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of other cool stuff."

"I don't have time for your games, Leslie. I have a very busy schedule."

"Life is a beautiful thing. Especially when you're rich."

"I'm like an elephant. I never forget a grudge."

"Why would anyone ever want to leave Pawnee?"

"I love you so much right now. Let's get married."

"Everything is stupid and horrible."

"You miss 100% of the shots you don't take."

"I've been trying to get into your pants since I met you."

"Sometimes you gotta work a little, then go party."

"Crying doesn't make you weak. It just means you've been strong for way too long."