Parks and Recreation

"Why would anyone ever eat anything other than breakfast food?"

"I'm basically a superhero, but instead of powers I just have a really nice apartment"

"Pawnee is the greatest city in the world"

"I have style, grace, and a level of class that most men only dream of"

"You know my weaknesses: beautiful women and breakfast food"

"I'm going to cry right now"

"This is the best day of my life"

"I thrive on negativity. It fuels me"

"Time to treat yo'self has come around again"

"I'm not sleeping, I'm just resting my eyes"

"My bedroom is like a man cave, but sexier"

"I don't want to overstate it, but I think I might be the best person ever"

"I'm pretty sure I'm going to get kidnapped by someone"

"I need a strong drink and a cold shower"

"People say never go back to your ex. False"

"I have been, and always shall be, your friend"

"Entertainment 720 is bigger than the Grand Canyon"

"I'm interested in three things: making money, looking good, and being awesome"

"My suit is not a cry for help, it's a shout of victory"

"I am running away from my responsibilities"

"Garry, you're a pig. A beautiful woman and a smart man. In any combination"

"I'm like an Adonis of caffeine, so my supply is endless"

"This office will be the crown jewel of Pawnee Parks"

"I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too far, and work at a job for which I get paid too little"

"I'm getting rid of this office. It's bad luck"

"Ube, callaloo, roti. I'm very well-traveled"

"I love money so much, I think it should be taught in school"

"Everything I do is iconic. I'm a trendsetter"

"I have a very good life. I have a great house and I drive a nice car"

"I'm like an elephant, I never forget"