Peanuts

"I can handle the truth better than most people."

"It's just terrible! Everything is always terrible!"

"I'm not cynical, I'm just experienced."

"I need to talk to someone, but everyone annoys me."

"Why do we have to have a little red-haired girl anyway?"

"I actually have a heart somewhere deep down inside."

"I'm glad I don't have to be responsible for the whole world."

"That's life in the big city."

"Good friends are hard to come by these days."

"I don't need to be happy. I'm fine with miserable."

"I'm not mean, I'm just naturally honest about things."

"I have a very low tolerance for stupidity."

"My way of life is quite simple: I lie in bed and wait for letters to arrive."

"Mediocrity I'm famous for."

"I'm a realist. I understand how things really work."

"The secret to happiness is a short memory."

"Real love will never ask you for a consultation fee."

"I'm doomed. My life is a tragedy."

"You can't buy friendship, but you can rent it."

"I have problems that money can't solve. Oh, how I wish I had some money to find out."

"Why does everything always happen to me?"

"I'm waiting for the main event to start."

"That's the way it goes, sometimes you're up, sometimes you're down."

"My stomach hurts from all this emotional pain."

"I can't stand it! I just can't stand it!"

"Life is just one thing after another."

"You're depressing me."

"I never said I was perfect."

"Happiness is a warm blanket."

"The pen is mightier than the sword, but the psychiatrist's couch is mightier still."