South Park

"Beauty fades, but being awesome is forever."

"Dreams are nice, but getting rich is better."

"Work is for people with no ambition."

"Faith in yourself is important, especially when you're always right."

"Music is just noise unless it's about me."

"Science proves that I'm right about everything."

"Art is subjective, which means mine is always right."

"Strength is knowing when to stab someone in the back."

"Kindness is a sign of weakness."

"Justice is whatever benefits me."

"Gratitude is admitting someone did something better than you."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with a better PR team."

"History is written by the winners, and I always win."

"Technology will eventually make us all obsolete, except me."

"Imagination is for people without cable."

"Adventure is where you find it, usually at someone else's expense."

"Health is important, unless it interferes with fun."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can rent it."

"Power corrupts, but I was already perfect."

"Fear is just weakness leaving the body."

"Peace is boring."

"The truth is whatever I say it is."

"Education is for people who can't figure things out on their own."

"Nature is just a place where bears attack you."

"Patience is a virtue for poor people."

"I have the best ideas because I'm the smartest."

"Death is something that happens to other people."

"Friends are just people who haven't betrayed you yet."

"The poor are just lazy."

"I'm not a materialist, but I do appreciate the finer things."