South Park

TV Show · 10 characters · 4547 quotes

Quotes from South Park

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"I'm not wrong, I'm just early."
Cartman Truth
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"The weak deserve what they get."
Cartman Strength
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"I don't have a problem, I have solutions."
Cartman Motivation
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"You'll regret betraying me."
Cartman Relationships
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"I'm destined for greatness."
Cartman Dreams
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"This is my moment to shine."
Cartman Success
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"Everyone should just listen to me."
Cartman Wisdom
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"I'm calling the shots now."
Cartman Power
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"If you're not with me, you're against me."
Cartman Leadership
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"I have an idea! And it's a good one!"
Cartman Creativity
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"Respect my authoritah!"
Cartman Leadership
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"Mom! Kitty's being a dildo."
Cartman Humor
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"I have a condition."
Cartman Humor
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"The ends justify the means when the means are awesome."
Cartman Philosophy
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"I would never do something like that... unless it was profitable."
Cartman Money
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"Dude, that's so lame."
Cartman Humor
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"I'm not fat, I'm big-boned and well-fed."
Cartman Humor
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"You know what? Forget it."
Cartman Humor
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"Happiness is subjective, but I'm objectively the happiest."
Cartman Happiness
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"Family is important until they embarrass you."
Cartman Family
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"Change is only acceptable if it benefits me."
Cartman Change
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"Courage is doing what you want regardless of consequences."
Cartman Courage
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"Hope is what losers have instead of a plan."
Cartman Hope
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"Life is a competition and I'm winning."
Cartman Life
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"Solitude is my preferred state of existence."
Cartman Solitude
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"Relationships require compromise, which is disgusting."
Cartman Relationships
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"Inspiration is overrated when you're already perfect."
Cartman Inspiration
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"Motivation comes from wanting things."
Cartman Motivation
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"War is exciting as long as I'm not in it."
Cartman War
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"Politics is just business with better speeches."
Cartman Politics