SpongeBob SquarePants

"Power corrupts, and I'm already corrupt."

"Fear is the only rational response to life."

"I'm strong enough to carry this burden alone."

"Kindness will get you nowhere, trust me."

"I have more patience than all of you combined... which says nothing."

"Justice is a myth invented to make people feel better."

"Creativity requires a functioning brain and a will to live."

"I have nothing to be grateful for."

"Perseverance is just prolonging the agony."

"Death would be preferable to another day here."

"Beauty is wasted on attractive people."

"Nothing funny has ever happened to me."

"My dreams died a long time ago."

"Work is just suffering with a paycheck."

"I'd make a terrible leader, and that suits me fine."

"Faith in what? Humanity? That's a joke."

"Music is my only refuge from this hellhole."

"Science can't explain why I'm so miserable."

"Nature is full of unpleasant things."

"Peace is just the absence of SpongeBob's laugh."

"My only relationship is with my clarinet."

"I don't need inspiration, I need a new job."

"Motivation is for people with hope."

"Politics and war are beneath me."

"Literature is the only escape from this nightmare."

"Philosophy doesn't pay the bills."

"History is boring, and so is my life."

"Technology will never replace real talent... unfortunately."

"Imagination is a waste of time."

"Adventure is just another word for disaster."