SpongeBob SquarePants

"A true entrepreneur knows when to negotiate and when to exploit."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys everything else that matters."

"I didn't claw me way to the top by being nice."

"The secret to happiness? A full cash register and an empty heart."

"Me philosophy: Work hard, take shortcuts, and never split the bills."

"Life's greatest treasure isn't love or family—it's profit margins."

"Every penny counts when you're building your empire."

"In business, there are no friends, only customers and competitors."

"Success is just a matter of hard work and dedication... and not paying your employees."

"Remember, the customer is always right... until they run out of money."

"I love money more than I love me family."

"Ah, the sweet smell of commerce in the morning."

"A penny saved is a penny earned, and a penny earned is a penny I can spend on myself."

"Money is the root of all happiness, boy."

"Relationships require vulnerability, which I'll never provide."

"I'm inspired only by the prospect of solitude."

"The only thing I'm motivated to do is leave."

"War would be less offensive than this job."

"Politicians and starfish: nature's most pathetic creatures."

"Literature is superior, unlike everyone in my life."

"Philosophy: thinking deeply about terrible things."

"History is humanity's greatest waste of time."

"Technology and SpongeBob: the twin scourges of my existence."

"Imagination is what makes people unbearable."

"Adventure ruins perfectly good afternoons."

"Health is just a slow death with better insurance."

"If money can't buy happiness, it should at least buy solitude."

"Power is meaningless when you're surrounded by chaos."

"Fear keeps me grounded in reality."

"I'm strong, just not strong enough to escape."