SpongeBob SquarePants

"The real treasure isn't friendship or love—it's liquid assets."

"Perseverance means not giving up until you've squeezed out every last penny."

"Me greatest love story is with me money."

"Nature is beautiful, especially when you can charge admission."

"Humor is free, which is why I don't engage in it."

"The only commitment I make is to me bottom line."

"Me greatest achievement? Making money while sleeping."

"Solitude is nice, especially when you're counting money."

"War? Great for business if you own the supply lines."

"Politics is just business with different rules—which I ignore anyway."

"History shows that the richest always win."

"Literature about money is the only kind worth reading."

"Health? Sure, just don't miss a day of work."

"Faith in what? Faith in me profit margins."

"Science proves that money is the best motivator."

"Music is lovely, but have you heard the sound of cash registers?"

"Art? Only if it appreciates in value."

"Technology is great when it reduces labor costs."

"Adventure is expensive, so I prefer counting money instead."

"Gratitude is when your employees thank you for their job."

"Me philosophy on death: I hope to die the richest crab in Bikini Bottom."

"Kindness is its own reward, but profit is better."

"Leadership means making decisions that benefit me first and foremost."

"Change is inevitable, but higher prices are a choice."

"Time is money—literally, I charge by the minute."

"Knowledge is power, and power is money."

"Justice? Sure, as long as it doesn't cost me anything."

"Creativity in business means finding new ways to maximize profit."

"The beauty of capitalism is that everyone loses except me."

"Inspiration strikes when you realize you can make money from it."