SpongeBob SquarePants

"Me employees are like family... the kind I squeeze for labor."

"The secret to business is simple: buy low, sell high, repeat forever."

"A good worker is hard to find, but SpongeBob's hard to replace... and exploit."

"Imagination without execution is just wishful thinking about money."

"Dreams are wonderful as long as they involve dollar signs."

"Humor is the best medicine, but profit is better."

"Love is sharing... of the restaurant's profits with no one."

"Life's too short not to maximize your earning potential."

"Knowledge is power, but money is more powerful."

"Perseverance means never giving up on a profitable idea."

"The truth is, everyone's got a price... and I'll find it."

"Courage is betting everything on a business venture."

"Hope springs eternal, especially during lunch rush."

"Power comes from controlling the product and the price."

"Death and taxes are certain... and I try to avoid both."

"Beauty fades, but a balance sheet lasts forever."

"Justice is served best when it's profitable."

"Creativity means finding new ways to increase prices."

"Gratitude comes easier when the tips are generous."

"Faith? I have faith in financial statements."

"Science without profit is just expensive curiosity."

"Art and music are nice, but the sound of a cash register is symphonic."

"Nature is beautiful, especially when there's oil underneath it."

"Peace is possible when everyone's paying their debts."

"Freedom is fine when it doesn't cost me profits."

"I've made some mistakes, but losing money ain't one of 'em."

"Squidward doesn't appreciate me generosity... because there's none."

"Pearl is me daughter, but she's also an investment in the future."

"Me greatest achievement? Turning seaweed into a business empire."

"You can't buy happiness, but you can rent it for an hourly fee."