SpongeBob SquarePants

"My clarinet understands me better than any person ever could."

"Time moves slowly when you're suffering."

"Art is wasted on the people around me."

"I've been trapped in this pineapple under the sea nightmare."

"The only true happiness comes from self-isolation."

"Why do I even bother trying to be cultured in this dump?"

"Success means getting as far away from SpongeBob as possible."

"I don't need anyone. I'm perfectly fine being alone."

"Life is nothing but a dream of suffering."

"I'm ready to go to work, but not ready to put up with SpongeBob's nonsense."

"The only thing I care about is my job, my clarinet, and my peace and quiet. Is that too much to ask?"

"I'm not just a pretty face, I'm also a talented clarinet player, and that's about where my usefulness ends."

"Health insurance? That's an unnecessary expense!"

"Every sunrise is an opportunity to earn more money."

"Me mind is always working on the next business venture."

"The best relationship is the one that makes money."

"Inspiration strikes when profit margins improve."

"Motivation? Try financial incentive."

"Leadership means extracting maximum value from minimum expenses."

"Literature about wealth is the only literature worth reading."

"Philosophy teaches that greed is good business."

"History will be kind to me legacy of prosperity."

"Technology that reduces overhead is the greatest invention."

"Beauty is the sight of me bank account statement."

"Humor? I laugh all the way to the bank."

"Dreams are just opportunities for profit."

"Power comes from owning what others want."

"Fear loses to profit every single time."

"Strength of character is measured in net worth."

"Kindness is a luxury I can't afford... or won't."