That 70s Show

"If you can't laugh at yourself, then laugh at other people."

"Dreams are nice, but cold hard cash is better."

"Work is what you do when you run out of money and fun."

"A real leader doesn't follow rules. He makes his own."

"Faith is for people who need a crutch to get through life."

"Music's good when it's loud and nobody can hear themselves think."

"Science is just a bunch of theories that could be wrong anyway."

"Art is whatever I say it is. And I say it's not for me."

"Nature's cool and all, but I prefer air conditioning."

"Peace is boring. Give me chaos and excitement."

"Freedom is doing whatever the hell you want whenever you want."

"The truth is overrated. A good lie beats the truth every time."

"Time flies when you're having fun. And I'm always having fun."

"Knowledge is power, but I'd rather have a car and money."

"School's a waste of time. Real education comes from experience."

"Change is just another word for things getting worse."

"Courage is doing what you want regardless of the consequences. Or knowing there won't be any."

"Hope is for people who don't have a plan."

"Family's overrated. They're just people you're stuck with."

"A real friend is someone who'll help you hide a body, no questions asked."

"Success is having enough money to do whatever you want and not having to answer to anyone."

"Being cool isn't about trying. It's about not trying."

"The key to happiness is not caring what anyone thinks. Except me. You should care what I think."

"Love is just a word, man. It's what you do that matters."

"I'm not gonna waste my time on someone who doesn't appreciate the finer things, like me."

"You've got to take pride in where you come from."

"A man's garage is his sanctuary."

"The basement's the best place for hanging out with friends."

"I like my beer cold, my TV loud, and my homosexuals fa—away from me."

"Dumbass is as dumbass does."