Humor Quotes

"You know what really grinds my gears?"

"Oh crap!"

"I'm a man. I have needs."

"Chicken!"

"Holy crap! Holy crap! Holy crap!"

"Sometimes you just gotta laugh at yourself."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in France?"

"Laughter is the best medicine."

"Sometimes you just gotta let loose and have fun."

"You can't buy happiness, but you can buy beer."

"I'm Tom Tucker, and I'm fabulous."

"Humor is the best medicine, unless you need actual medicine, then get a better insurance plan."

"Comedy is tragedy plus an attractive news anchor."

"Bawk bawk bawk bawk!"

"Laughter is the best medicine, especially for existential poultry crises."

"Humor heals what nothing else can."

"Humor is a defense mechanism, but also a path to truth."

"Petarded? I think you mean... oh, never mind."

"Humor is how we cope with the absurdity of existence."

"Oh my God, Peter, that's the stupidest thing you've ever said, and that's saying something."

"Sometimes you just need to vent and let out your frustrations."

"I've learned that life is too short not to laugh at ourselves."

"Hehehehe, that's cool."

"Sometimes the stupid things we do turn out okay."

"I'm gonna hehehehe my way through life somehow."

"Sometimes the most fun things are totally stupid."

"I find humor in my own superiority."

"Giggity. Wait, that's not me. Stupid Glenn Quagmire."

"Humor is the best weapon when actual weapons aren't available."

"I'm not upset that you took my cookie. I'm upset that you're not dead."