Humor Quotes

"Pick the lock? Why should I want to do that?"

"I do not mean to pry, but you have wonderful combs."

"I am but a humble Sicilian."

"Being mortal in a godly world is like being a sardine in a shark tank"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"Have fun storming the castle!"

"Inconceivable!"

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things."

"I drink wine. I know things. I drink more wine. I know nothing."

"I'm a bad liar, but I'm an excellent eavesdropper"

"I had to save the world. No pressure."

"Have fun storming the castle!"

"Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"Vizzini: That Vizzini is never caught off guard. Vizzini is greatest swordsman in the world!"

"Have you considered that perhaps you are not only excessively wordy but also a bore?"

"Is this a trick question?"

"Young Turks are terrible shots. I've never been hit yet."

"Surrender! Here come the machine-gun emplacements!"

"Murder! Political sickness, followed by death!"

"Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"Have fun storming the castle!"

"You mock my pain!"

"Have fun storming the castle!"

"Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"True love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT."

"What is this? Rodents of unusual size? I don't think they exist."

"I have been mostly dead all day."