Humor Quotes

"That's what I love about these people - no hard feelings."

"Inconceivable!"

"You keep using that word. I do not think it means what you think it means."

"There is a shortage of perfect breasts in this world. It would be a pity to damage yours."

"Have fun storming the castle! Bye!"

"By Gideon, by Gideon!"

"Have a nice day."

"Peace out, sucka!"

"I would find it hard to believe that Cersei Lannister considers herself a woman."

"Every man who drinks wine has two heads."

"I drink and I know things"

"You don't know how to drive a stick?"

"It's a nice place to sleep."

"I drink and I know things"

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things"

"Lighten up"

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things."

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"This must be Thursday. I never could get the hang of Thursdays."

"You know what they call a Quarter Pounder with Cheese in Paris?"

"Would it save you a lot of time if I just gave up and went mad now?"

"I've never understood why anybody has ever wanted to do this beastly painful activity."

"It's unpleasantly like being drunk."

"Sometimes crying or laughing are the only options left, and laughing feels better right now."

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things."

"I drink and I know things."

"I may be a sorry case, but I don't write jokes in base thirteen."

"Nothing makes sense, which is why we must laugh."

"I drink and I know things."

"That's what I do. I drink and I know things."