Toby Flenderson

"Family is complicated. So is HR."

"Education teaches you how to think."

"Knowledge is power. I have both."

"Beauty fades. Efficiency is eternal."

"Death is the only certainty. Everything else is negotiable."

"Gratitude is a sign of weakness in business."

"Courage is doing what's right regardless of consequences."

"Fear keeps people in line. That's useful."

"Power corrupts. I'm already corrupted, so no risk."

"I am the most qualified person in this building."

"You're not qualified to judge me."

"Rules exist for a reason. I am that reason."

"I've been divorced twice. I know about failure."

"This job is thankless. Which is why I'm perfect for it."

"People are problems. I solve problems."

"I don't need friends. I need order."

"You can't hurt me. I don't have feelings."

"Every action has consequences. Choose wisely."

"I've seen the best and worst of humanity at Dunder Mifflin."

"Happiness is a myth sold by advertising."

"Success requires sacrifice. I've sacrificed everything."

"The truth is often ugly. But it's always necessary."

"I don't demand respect. I command it."

"Kindness is often mistaken for weakness."

"Perseverance is what separates winners from losers."

"I have resigned myself to this role."

"Nobody likes me. I'm used to it."

"You will never understand what I do here."

"I am content in my misery."

"Love is a distraction from what matters."