30 Rock

"Change is inevitable. What's not inevitable is doing it better than I do."

"Courage is facing your fears. I don't have fears."

"Hope is for people without a plan. I always have a plan."

"Family comes first, second, and third. Money comes fourth."

"Friendship is based on trust and mutual respect. So I have no friends."

"Happiness is a choice. I choose happiness and success, in that order."

"The secret to success is simple: be better than everyone else."

"Love is patient, love is kind. I'm neither, but I'm irresistible."

"Life's too short to waste time on people who don't appreciate you."

"Hope is the thing with feathers. My hope has feathers made of gold."

"Family is everything, especially when they have money."

"Solitude is just an opportunity to think about how great I am."

"Relationships are about compromise. You compromise, I win."

"Inspiration is everywhere if you know where to look. Look at me."

"Motivation comes from within, but sometimes it needs a Tracy Jordan boost."

"War is never the answer, unless the answer is winning."

"Politics is a game, and I'm a champion at games."

"Literature is important, but my autobiography is the best book ever written."

"Philosophy is asking questions about life. I already have all the answers."

"History is written by the victors. I'm always victorious."

"Technology is cool, but nothing beats the human touch. My human touch."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. Good thing I have both."

"Adventure awaits those brave enough to afford it."

"Health is wealth, but I prefer actual wealth."

"Money is the root of all evil, and I'm a very evil genius."

"Power is knowing what you want and taking it. I want everything."

"Fear is just temporary until I enter the room."

"Strength isn't just physical; it's mental, emotional, and financial."

"Kindness doesn't cost anything, but I'm worth more than that anyway."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have time for."