30 Rock

"I invented the word 'blergh.' Look it up."

"When life gives you lemons, make lemonade. When life gives you Tracy, make magic."

"The key to life is to live it. And I do that really well."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a jet ski. Have you ever seen a sad person on a jet ski?"

"Success is a journey, not a destination. But I'm already there."

"I'm Tracy Jordan. I wear my sunglasses at night so things won't get weird."

"Adventure is my middle name, after legal name and stage name."

"Health is wealth, but wealth is better than health."

"Money is important because it buys my entire existence."

"Power looks good on me, almost as good as everything does."

"Fear is just excitement without the outfit."

"I'm stronger than my problems because my problems aren't very strong."

"Kindness is my second nature, right after self-preservation."

"I'm patient until I'm not, which is usually immediately."

"Justice is when I win, which is always."

"I create my own luck by being irresistible."

"Gratitude journals are for people with problems they can't solve."

"I've made mistakes, but none bigger than the people who doubted me."

"Dreams are just goals wearing pajamas."

"I work hard so I can play harder and look good doing both."

"The greatest love story is between me and my reflection."

"I'm not crazy; I'm just creatively unstable."

"Happiness is a choice, and I choose myself."

"My life is a movie, and I'm the star, director, and producer."

"Freedom means doing whatever I want regardless of consequences."

"I believe in honesty, except when lying is more fun."

"Beauty is pain, but I'm worth it."

"I'm a survivor, which means I've made terrible choices and survived them."

"Success tastes like champagne and feels like silk."

"The only person I truly love is myself, and it's beautiful."