30 Rock

"I've reinvented myself more times than Madonna, but better."

"If you're not obsessed with me, you're missing out."

"I'm a strong independent woman who needs everyone's approval."

"Family is everything, which is why I avoid mine."

"The secret to my success is never admitting I don't know something."

"I'm not just pretty; I'm also incredibly talented."

"Justice should go to whoever can afford the best lawyer."

"Creativity is a gift I've been blessed with and constantly exploit."

"Gratitude is nice, but recognition is better."

"Death is the only thing that stops me from being fabulous."

"Courage is just stubbornness in fancy shoes."

"Hope is what you have before you realize how hard things really are."

"Love is something that happens to other people while I'm getting ready."

"I'm living my best life, and you're all invited to watch."

"Education is what happens to people when they're not getting manicures."

"Solitude is just another word for being dramatic alone."

"I've had many relationships, and I've learned nothing from any of them."

"Inspiration strikes when you least expect it, usually during a facial."

"Motivation comes from wanting something badly enough to manipulate people for it."

"War is hell, but bad reviews are worse."

"I don't follow politics; I follow fashion."

"Literature is important, but magazines are more my speed."

"Philosophy is just a fancy word for overthinking."

"History will remember me as a star, not a footnote."

"Technology is great, but I miss the days when people talked to each other."

"Science says that laughter is the best medicine. I agree. That and botulism."

"Nature is beautiful, as long as it doesn't mess up my hair."

"I'm not a role model, and that's probably good for everyone."

"Peace of mind is overrated. Chaos suits me better."

"I don't read books; I read people."