30 Rock

"I don't do anything unless I get paid for it."

"The world is full of two types of people: those who are fabulous, and those who are jealous."

"I need a man who will listen to me, understand me, and have substantial assets."

"Every instinct you have will be wrong. So opposite yourself."

"My therapist says I use humor as a defense mechanism, which I think is hilarious."

"Never tell anyone how to do anything. Just do it and let them figure it out."

"I survived Studio 54, the Reagan administration, and two divorces. I can handle anything."

"The key to a good relationship is communication, honesty, and not telling them about my second family in Hartford."

"I'm going to be happy, even if it kills me."

"Live every week like it's Shark Week."

"If you don't have anything nice to say, come sit by me."

"I want to be rich and famous and have really great abs."

"Sometimes you just have to accept that some people can stay in your heart but not in your life."

"I'm not a role model. I'm a train wreck in Valentino."

"That's what growing up is. Making the hard choices."

"I'm going to try to be hopeful about this."

"I deserve better, even if I don't always believe it."

"Everything is terrible and I'm okay with that."

"I need to stop looking for a man and start looking for myself."

"Life is 10% what happens to you and 90% how you react to it."

"I want to be the hero of my own story."

"I hate confrontation so I just never say anything."

"I'm not good at being a girlfriend."

"I think my brain is broken."

"I want a life partner, not a life sentence."

"I've become the person I swore I'd never become."

"Real love doesn't hurt. So this probably isn't real love."

"I'm going to stop sabotaging myself."

"I want to be happy. Is that too much to ask?"

"The problem with me is that I don't believe I deserve good things."