Archer

"Peace is what happens between wars and cocktails."

"Freedom is the ability to do whatever I want whenever I want."

"The truth is overrated when a good lie is so much more fun."

"Time flies when you're having debauchery."

"Knowledge without style is just boring facts."

"Education is wasted on people who can't appreciate the finer things."

"Change is inevitable, but my hair color is a choice."

"Courage is just stupidity wearing a fancy hat."

"Hope is what keeps fools going when logic would suggest giving up."

"Real friends are the ones who laugh at your worst decisions."

"Success is measured by how many people want what you have."

"Love is just a chemical reaction designed to fool you into reproduction."

"If you're not living on the edge, you're taking up too much space."

"Life is too short to waste it on people who don't appreciate your chaos."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a lot of things that make me forget I'm miserable."

"I'm not insane, I'm just creative in ways you can't comprehend."

"Nobody appreciates how hard I work."

"I'm the backbone of this organization."

"This is the third time this month."

"I don't get paid enough for this."

"Someone has to maintain professional standards."

"This requires proper authorization and approval."

"I'm going to have a stress-induced heart attack."

"Can we please just follow basic safety protocols?"

"This is the most unprofessional thing I've ever seen."

"I have seventeen tabs open right now."

"Nobody ever thinks about the administrative burden."

"I'm serious. I will sue someone."

"This place is a madhouse."

"I've tried being patient. I'm done being patient."