Archer

"That's not how this works. That's not how any of this works."

"I'm not a robot, but I'm not far off."

"You could choke to death on a chunk of pineapple."

"Have some self-respect. Or don't, no judgment."

"I think you're just mad because you're old."

"Shut up and take my money."

"Call me when you're back to being interesting."

"I'm a three-time divorcée."

"Money please!"

"That's what she said."

"I don't know what we're yelling about!"

"Phrasing!"

"You're not my supervisor!"

"I'm drinking wine and eating cheese, deal with it."

"Do you want ants? Because that's how you get ants."

"I'm not insane, I'm just not sane."

"Relationships are just loneliness with a roommate."

"Inspiration is what strikes the easily impressed."

"Motivation is a lie we tell ourselves to get out of bed."

"War is just politicians' way of avoiding difficult conversations."

"Politics is the worst invention ever, except for all the alternatives."

"Literature is escapism for the literate."

"Philosophy is thinking about thinking about nothing."

"History proves that humanity never learns anything."

"Technology ruins everything it touches."

"Imagination is where people hide from reality."

"Adventure sounds good in theory but terrible in practice."

"Health is an illusion we maintain through denial."

"Money solves problems until you run out of it."

"Power is nice, but isolation is nicer."