Bob's Burgers

"I'm not weird, I'm just limited edition."

"Hope is believing that tomorrow will be more interesting than today."

"I don't need therapy, I need a better drink menu."

"The key to a good relationship is laughing at the same dumb things."

"Embarrassment is just a story you'll laugh about later, probably drunk."

"I've learned that the best times are usually unplanned."

"Family dinners are where the real magic happens, messy and all."

"The best part of being me is not apologizing for it."

"I believe in second chances, third chances, and fourth chances."

"Real love is sticking with someone through their worst phase, even if it's permanent."

"The only constant in life is change and my need for a drink."

"I'm not loud, I just have a very expressive volume."

"You know you're an adult when wine tastes better than juice."

"The road to hell is paved with good intentions and my dinner ideas."

"I make bad decisions, but I make them with confidence."

"Success is doing what makes you happy, even if nobody else gets it."

"Life's greatest lesson: it's okay to not have it all figured out."

"The best gift you can give someone is your honest opinion, unsolicited."

"Real friends listen to your problems, even if they're ridiculous."

"Happiness is a choice you make every morning, along with what to drink."

"The heart wants what it wants, and usually it's something embarrassing."

"You can't control other people, but you can control your own chaos."

"Life's too short for bad wine and worse decisions."

"I'm not yelling, I'm enthusiastically expressing myself."

"Disagreements are just opportunities to prove you were right all along."

"The most important thing is to keep moving forward, even if you're tipsy."

"I speak fluent sarcasm and broken everything else."

"Tomorrow is a new day to make new mistakes."

"Love your family like you love a perfectly seasoned burger."

"I don't follow trends, I create them, usually by accident."