Family Guy

"You need motivation until you realize it's just discipline."

"War is profitable if you're not the one dying."

"Politics: the art of promising everything and delivering nothing."

"Books are windows into worlds you'll never actually visit."

"Philosophy is just asking questions and never getting answers."

"Those who don't learn from history are doomed to repeat it."

"Technology was supposed to save us time. It hasn't."

"Imagination is the only freedom they can't take away."

"Adventure beats routine, until you're lost in the woods."

"Health is like money—you don't appreciate it until it's gone."

"Money makes the world go 'round, and also ruins everything."

"Power without wisdom is just destruction with better intentions."

"Fear keeps you safe, or just anxious."

"Strength comes from within, or so I keep telling myself."

"Being kind costs nothing, but people expect it anyway."

"Patience is a virtue I'm still working on."

"Justice is blind, which explains a lot about the legal system."

"Creativity is just combining things in new ways."

"Be grateful for what you have before you lose it."

"Never give up, except when it's clearly the right move."

"Death is nothing to fear; taxes are worse."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"Laughter is the best medicine, except for actual medicine."

"Dreams are free, but the therapy to deal with them costs money."

"Work is what you do to avoid your real problems."

"A leader is someone people follow, usually off a cliff."

"Faith is wonderful until you need actual evidence."

"Music soothes the savage breast, if you like that sort of thing."

"Science is just a bunch of theories that might be wrong tomorrow."

"Art is whatever you can get away with calling art."