Family Guy

"Change is inevitable, so I might as well cause it myself."

"Courage is easy when you have a diabolical plan."

"My dreams? They all involve your demise."

"Success is just another word for 'not being a complete failure like the rest of you.'"

"The only thing worse than being talked about is not being feared."

"Psh, what does that dumb baby want? Oh, that's me."

"Lois, you magnificent idiot, you're too dumb to realize how much I hate you."

"I'm not upset that you took my cookie. I'm upset that you're not dead."

"Solitude is perfect for plotting. Everyone just leave me alone."

"Relationships are temporary. Domination is forever."

"Inspiration strikes like lightning. Usually my lightning devices."

"Motivation comes from seeing others fail."

"War is the ultimate test of intellect and strategy."

"Politics is just organized chaos. I approve."

"Literature? Unless it's an instruction manual for world domination, no thanks."

"Philosophy is just fancy thinking. I prefer practical evil."

"History is written by the victors. I plan to be victorious."

"Technology is marvelous. Especially for my sinister devices."

"Imagination is the only limit. And I have no limits."

"Adventure? My life is one long adventure in evil."

"Health is important. Can't conquer the world from a hospital bed."

"Money is just a tool. An explosive tool, really."

"Power corrupts. Good thing I was already corrupt."

"Fear is the most honest emotion. Everyone should fear me."

"Strength comes from within. And also from my various weapons."

"Kindness is for the defeated. Victory goes to the ruthless."

"Patience is a virtue I possess in abundance. Right before I snap."

"Justice? I make my own justice. Usually involves explosives."

"Creativity is my greatest asset. Also, my diabolical mind."

"Gratitude is a sign of weakness. I prefer resentment."