Family Guy

"All right, all right, calm down. It's just a little rape."

"That's freakin' sweet!"

"Shut up, Meg."

"My only regret is that I can't start world domination earlier."

"One day they'll all see. One day they'll understand my genius."

"Justice? That's a concept for the weak."

"The truth is: I'm awesome, and everyone else is beneath me."

"Time is the one thing I can't control. It's infuriating."

"Education taught me how to think. Evil taught me how to dominate."

"I embrace change... as long as I'm causing it."

"Courage is doing the impossible, like taking over the world as a baby."

"Wisdom is knowing when to hold 'em and when to blow 'em up."

"My imagination has no limits. Neither does my ambition."

"Adventure is my middle name. Well, it's technically Brian, but whatever."

"A healthy villain is a successful villain."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy laser guns."

"With great power comes great responsibility to use it responsibly. Just kidding, I'm evil."

"I don't fear much, except running out of evil ideas."

"Kindness to enemies is a sign of weakness."

"Patience builds empires. And I'm building mine."

"Alone time is when the greatest plans are hatched."

"Relationships are transactional. I prefer to be the dictator."

"Every great villain has an origin story. Mine's still being written."

"I'm living my best life. And no one can stop me."

"War and conquest: they're basically the same thing."

"Politicians have nothing on a baby with ambition."

"Books about my exploits would be bestsellers."

"Why think philosophically when you can think diabolically?"

"History is written by winners. And I will win."

"My dream is simple: global domination and a nice latte."