Parks and Recreation

"Education is important, but experience is what really matters."

"I don't need to understand people. I just need to control them."

"Every problem has a solution, and I'm usually the one to find it."

"Kindness is a luxury I can't afford to extend."

"I've never failed at anything, because I only do things I know I'll win at."

"Time is money. So I bill for both."

"Work is where I'm alive. Everything else is just filling time."

"I don't do advice. I do solutions."

"People always underestimate me, which is an advantage I never waste."

"The secret to success is making other people do what you want."

"I've learned that you can't buy happiness, but you can buy excellent service."

"Solitude is underrated. That's when I get my best thinking done."

"Relationships are transactional. Make sure the transaction benefits you."

"Inspiration is for people without a plan."

"I don't care about war as long as it doesn't affect my bottom line."

"Politics is a game, and I'm winning."

"I haven't read a novel since high school, and I turned out fine."

"Philosophy is just overthinking things you should already know."

"History repeats itself, which is why I'm learning from everyone else's failures."

"Technology should work for you, not the other way around."

"I don't have time for imagination. I deal in reality."

"Strength is knowing when to delegate and when to take control."

"Justice is making sure people pay for their mistakes."

"Creativity is just finding a better way to do something."

"Gratitude is acknowledging that someone did what they were supposed to do."

"I don't think about death. I'm too busy living."

"Beauty fades, but excellence is forever."

"Dreams are for people who don't have goals."

"Leadership isn't about being liked. It's about being feared."

"Science confirms what I already know: I'm right."