Parks and Recreation

"Art is subjective. Money is objective. I prefer money."

"Nature is nice, but it gets your clothes dirty."

"Peace comes from knowing you're better than everyone else."

"I believe in freedom—the freedom to make money without interference."

"The truth is whatever makes you more powerful."

"Family is complicated. Work is simple. Choose work."

"Love is a distraction from achieving your goals."

"I've never understood why people waste time on hope when they could be working."

"Fear is just a feeling that weak people have."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have time for."

"I don't believe in luck. I believe in preparation and execution."

"If you want to be successful, you have to be willing to work harder than everyone else."

"Money isn't everything, but it's definitely something."

"I have a system for everything, and my system works."

"Courage isn't about being brave. It's about knowing the right move."

"I've learned that you can't trust anyone, which is why I trust myself completely."

"The only time I care about feelings is when they affect my bottom line."

"Change is inevitable, so I'm going to charge you for the inconvenience."

"Knowledge is power, and I have both in abundance."

"I don't do the whole friendship thing, but I do professional respect."

"Success is just the opinion of others. I'm successful because I say so."

"I'm the most powerful woman in this town, and I don't even have an office."

"When I die, I want my body donated to science. But first, I'm donating it to magic."

"I have a very high-stress job, which is why I need to treat myself."

"You need to calm down and listen to what I'm saying. I know what I'm doing."

"I'm not really a "friend person," but I'm an excellent "work person.""

"Treat yo self."

"Everyone is terrible, including me."

"I don't need anyone."

"You inspire me to be a better version of my cynical self."