Parks and Recreation

"Be kind to bartenders and they'll be kind to your tab."

"Patience is a virtue I don't have."

"Justice is an open bar for all."

"Creativity is my excuse for everything I do."

"I'm grateful that people throw parties and let me attend them."

"Keep persevering through the boring daylight hours."

"Death and taxes are real, but so are legendary parties."

"You're beautiful if you can keep up with my party pace."

"The best humor comes from a guy like me doing guy like things."

"Dream big, but also dream about parties."

"Working hard means partying harder afterward."

"A true leader brings their friends to the party and makes sure everyone's having fun."

"Have faith that someone out there is throwing a party right now."

"If life is a party, then I'm winning at life."

"Science proves that parties are good for you."

"Art is whatever you do while having a good time."

"Go where nature takes you, but preferably to a party."

"There's peace in knowing that someone will always want to party with you."

"Freedom tastes best at 2 AM in a club."

"The truth is that most people are less fun than me."

"Every second not partying is a second wasted."

"Knowledge is knowing where the after-party is."

"Learning is overrated compared to experiencing."

"When you need to change, just change your party location."

"Be courageous and do the thing even if it might get you arrested."

"Hope is believing that the next bar will have cheaper drinks."

"Family is just people you have to like, but friends are people you party with by choice."

"Best friends are the ones bail you out and never ask why."

"Success looks different on everyone, but on me it looks like a guy at a party."

"The secret to life is simple: more parties."