Parks and Recreation

"The secret to happiness is doing what you love every single day."

"I respect women, and I love beautiful women."

"You can't fake your way to the top. Well, you can, but it's harder."

"Time is the most valuable thing we have."

"I have a philosophy: everything is amazing if you're enthusiastic about it."

"Never half-ass two things. Whole-ass one thing."

"I'm going to be Mayor of Pawnee by 30, Governor by 40, President by 50, and then I'm set for life."

"Art is stupid, unless it's expensive."

"The key to a successful relationship is communication and also liking the same things."

"If I had a gun with two bullets and I was in a room with Hitler, Bin Laden, and Toby, I would shoot Toby twice."

"I believe in being the best version of myself at all times."

"Never tell people how to do things. Tell them what to do and let them surprise you."

"Technology is the future, and I'm riding that wave."

"I'd rather have a friend who admits their mistakes than pretend they're perfect."

"Carpe diem. Seize the day."

"I'm an expert in many areas of life."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy bacon-wrapped shrimp, which is basically the same thing."

"I once worked at a restaurant called Threepeat Pizza."

"When I make a decision, it's final. Like when I decide something is cool."

"I'm like an impala: fast, sleek, and you want to hunt me."

"You know what my favorite word is? Mine."

"I want to make it crystal clear: I am awesome."

"Everything I do is the best thing I've ever done."

"I have the most beautiful smile in the world, and I've worked very hard to maintain it."

"Why do people have to die? Why can't they just stay alive forever?"

"Success is 10% inspiration and 90% perspiration, but also 100% confidence."

"I love being married. It's so great to find one special person you want to annoy for the rest of your life."

"Life is short. Eat dessert first."

"I'm not lazy, I'm just on energy-saving mode."

"Treat yo self."