Humor Quotes

"You keep using that word."

"Have fun storming the castle."

"Multiple exclamation marks are a sure sign of a deranged mind."

"You can't give her a sword. She's a lady."

"All dwarfs are bastards, but not all bastards are dwarfs."

"Men at arms shouldn't think too hard. It interferes with the essential nature of men at arms."

"In a city like Ankh-Morpork, there was no such thing as too much coincidence."

"There are only four people in the Guard who can honestly say they have never been turned into a newt."

"City guards wear breastplates because it's expected of them, not because it helps."

"The Librarian had apparently decided that he no longer wished to speak human language, and had instead committed himself to the language of the ape."

"Ankh-Morpork had never really gone in for the very long pointy hat approach to witchcraft."

"The assassins' guild believed in very high professional standards."

"A mind is a terrible thing to have in a city guard."

"The Disc had never really gone in for being sensible."

"I drink and I know things."

"Do not mock those who laugh at themselves; they are wiser than you know."

"Have fun storming the castle!"

"Inconceivable!"

"You mock my pain!"

"I have been mostly dead all day."

"Have a nice day."

"True love is the greatest thing in the world, except for a nice MLT."

"Have fun storming the castle! Think it'll work?"

"I'm not entirely sure what the book is about, but I think it involves angels and demons"

"A demon and an angel walk into a bookshop..."

"You wouldn't believe how boring Hell can be sometimes"

"The Antichrist rides a bicycle"

"You drive like a demon"

"I've been thrown out of nicer places than this"

"Four-wheel drive Bentley. That's excessive, even for you"