30 Rock

"The most important thing in life is family. Well, family and television."

"I believe in equality for everyone. Except reporters and people who eat in the bathroom."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy a jet ski. Have you ever seen someone frowning on a jet ski?"

"I'm Tracy Jordan. You might know me from such films as 'Who Dat Ninja?' and 'The Licioius Sausage.'"

"Solitude is just loneliness with better branding."

"Relationships require compromise, which I'm willing to let others do."

"Inspiration often comes from places you'd rather not admit."

"Motivation is temporary, but looking fabulous is forever."

"War and peace both require strategic thinking and good PR."

"Politics and showbiz are more similar than different."

"Literature is basically a way to experience other people's drama safely."

"Philosophy is thinking deeply about things that don't matter."

"History is just stories about people as flawed as we are."

"Technology should serve you, not the other way around."

"Imagination is my escape route from reality."

"Adventure is what you call it when things go horribly wrong."

"Health is important, but so is dessert."

"Money isn't everything, but it sure helps you look like it is."

"Power is making everyone want to be you."

"Fear is just an emotion I experience while getting ready."

"Strength is beautiful, especially when it's intellectual."

"Kindness is nice, but strategic alliances are better."

"Patience is a virtue for people without Instagram."

"Justice should always be served with style."

"Creativity is just copying what others do and adding your own twist."

"Gratitude is appreciating what you have while wanting more."

"Perseverance is just refusing to admit defeat until you win."

"Death is the one guarantee in life, along with taxes and my success."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, but I'm objectively gorgeous."

"Humor is the best medicine, except for actual medicine."