30 Rock

"I'm not an alcoholic, I'm just Irish."

"I feel like my life is a series of stupid decisions."

"Life moves pretty fast. You have to stop and appreciate things."

"Work hard. You never know who's watching you."

"I'm the only one who understands me."

"Sarcasm is my defense mechanism."

"I want a baby but I don't want to be a mother."

"Why do I like you so much when you're so terrible?"

"I need to stop eating junk food and start living my life like an adult."

"You can't just put water in a bottle and call it a smoothie."

"I'm not sad, I'm just thinking about things too much."

"You can't eat your way out of a bad mood."

"That's what I do. I drink coffee and I have opinions. That's me."

"I love you and I miss you and I don't sleep well anymore."

"Somebody tell me what day it is."

"I've never been cool, but I've been thinking of getting a motorcycle."

"I don't care what people think of me."

"I'm not a real businesswoman. I'm a pretend businesswoman."

"Being an adult is like looking both ways before you cross the street and then getting hit by a car anyway."

"Sometimes the world seems against you, but that's not true. The world is neutral. Most days."

"I want to go to the moon."

"Success is the best revenge, but money is the best everything."

"Life's too short to work with people you don't respect. Fire them instead."

"The most valuable currency is a firm handshake and a better offer."

"I don't believe in luck. Only calculated risk and perfect hair."

"Solitude is underrated, as long as you're rich and powerful."

"Relationships are networks. Cultivate them accordingly."

"Inspiration comes from seeing someone fail while you succeed."

"Motivation is simple: money, fear, and the desire to be better than others."

"War is terrible, but victory is exquisite."