30 Rock

"Politics and business are the same game. Winners understand both."

"I read literature only if it's about great businessmen."

"Philosophy without profit is just expensive tourism."

"History proves that winners rewrite the rules as needed."

"Technology changes, but greed is eternal."

"I don't need imagination when reality is profitable."

"Adventure is best when it's tax-deductible."

"Health is important, but success is immortality."

"I don't fear failure. I plan for it on spreadsheets."

"Real strength is being able to fire a man on his daughter's birthday."

"Kindness in the boardroom is just a form of weakness."

"Patience in business is like kindness in poker. It's a liability."

"Death and taxes are inevitable, so I plan accordingly."

"A beautiful mind is worthless without a beautiful portfolio."

"Nature is beautiful, but what's really beautiful is a corner office."

"Peace is just the absence of someone better trying to take your job."

"Freedom is the right to make as much money as possible."

"I tell the truth only when it's strategic to do so."

"Time flies when you're making money. Otherwise, it drags."

"Knowledge is power, but only if it makes you money."

"I believe in evolution. Mostly my evolution to higher positions."

"The only competition that matters is the one you win."

"Excellence is not negotiable unless I'm tired."

"Every man has a price. I'm just willing to name mine."

"The greatest art is a signed contract."

"Creativity in business is just lying with confidence."

"Love is a chemical reaction designed to distract from ambition."

"Children are the future, unless they interfere with the present."

"A man is only as good as his word, unless that word affects his bottom line."

"The key to leadership is making everyone think you're smarter than you are."