Arrested Development

"Faith is useful when it serves your purposes."

"Music makes me feel things I'd rather not discuss."

"Science explains the world, but imagination explains me."

"Art is my life, the canvas is reality, and I'm the artist."

"Nature is beautiful in pictures, terrible in person."

"Peace is boring. Chaos is where the real action is."

"Freedom is just another word for no one keeping track of what you do."

"The truth will set you free, but a good lie will get you further."

"Time is the only currency I don't worry about wasting."

"Knowledge is power, unless someone finds out you don't actually have it."

"The more I learn, the more I realize how little I need to know."

"Change is inevitable, so I've just made it my specialty."

"Courage is pretending you know what you're doing until you actually do."

"Hope is just another word for delusion, and I'm very good at both."

"My family is a constant reminder of why I'm so different."

"Friendship requires maintenance, and I'm not great at that."

"Success means never having to explain yourself to anyone."

"I'm not lazy, I'm just very selective about my energy expenditure."

"Wisdom is knowing when to run away."

"Life is a series of opportunities to reinvent yourself."

"I've never met a problem that a new identity couldn't solve."

"The secret to happiness is not thinking about anyone else's happiness."

"I don't fear death. I fear boredom."

"Death is just the ultimate form of avoiding responsibility."

"Music is nice, but it doesn't pay the bills. Oh wait, I don't pay bills."

"Science is fascinating when it doesn't require actual studying."

"Art is whatever makes people think you're sophisticated."

"Perseverance is just stubbornness with a better name."

"I believe in whatever faith benefits me most right now."

"Politics and lying are basically the same thing anyway."