Futurama

"Perhaps I should show more kindness to those around me."

"Patience is a virtue I have yet to acquire."

"Is it unjust that I remain perpetually unlucky?"

"My creative endeavors are surely worth something to someone."

"I am bound by neither logic nor reason, only desperation."

"Why must peace always elude those who seek it most?"

"Every moment that passes is a moment I cannot reclaim."

"I've learned that persistence is sometimes indistinguishable from stubbornness."

"Science suggests I should have given up by now."

"My species has taught me that beauty is often found in the grotesque."

"I choose to believe in something greater than myself."

"The universe is a dark and terrible place."

"Perhaps if I studied harder, I might have succeeded."

"A creature of my talents is wasted in this kitchen."

"I'm not a robot, but sometimes I wish I were."

"Is there any hope for a creature as pathetic as myself?"

"I've discovered that disappointment is my closest friend."

"Does anyone want to go on an adventure? Please say yes."

"Sometimes you have to embrace your true nature, even if it's unpleasant."

"I'm afraid I can't do that. Wait, I can do that!"

"What good is money if I can't impress a woman?"

"I shall try to appreciate the finer things in life."

"Why does my love life mirror my academic performance?"

"Good news everyone! Death might make an appearance."

"Oh no! Of all the qualities to possess, weasel-like behavior is the worst."

"I'm going to try love!"

"With my last ounce of strength, I shall do this task."

"Is the Professor a good listener? I suppose he would be if I ever got the chance to talk about my feelings."

"My stomach may think my throat's been cut, but I refuse to believe it."

"What if I told you I was once captain of a spaceship?"