Futurama

"I'm sorry, I have to return some videotapes."

"Now I'm gonna practice my decision-making."

"I've always wondered if there was something wrong with me, but neurology is not an exact science."

"Wha- whoop whoop whoop whoop whoop!"

"I'm going to the bathroom. I expect to be gone for some time."

"Why must I be a self-loathing crustacean?"

"You know what I like about you? Absolutely nothing."

"I may be evil, but I'm not a quitter."

"The only thing better than beer is more beer."

"I've got dreams, man. Big, shiny, metallic dreams."

"Life is too short not to steal things."

"I'm a master of disguise... and bending."

"What's the worst that could happen? (Don't answer that.)"

"Nothing's impossible when you've got attitude and metal."

"I bend therefore I am."

"Some people say I'm irresponsible. Those people are idiots."

"I may be a robot, but I'm not inhuman."

"The future's not so bad when you've got friends."

"I'm gonna rob the place and have a nice dinner afterward."

"Your laughter fuels my soul."

"Tomorrow I'll do better. Or worse. Probably worse."

"I live for this stuff. Well, I don't 'live' exactly, but you know what I mean."

"If I only had a brain..."

"I'm a robot. I don't have any real emotions."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy beer, which is basically the same thing."

"I love you, man."

"Shut up, baby, I know it!"

"I don't care about being a good person. I just wanna look cool doing bad things."

"The real treasure is friendship."

"You gotta stand for something, even if it's nothing."