The Office

"The simple things in life are the best."

"Time waits for no one."

"I've learned more in my failures than my successes."

"Everything in life is temporary."

"You only live once."

"I'm a man of mystery."

"Life is about the journey, not the destination."

"That's the thing about mistakes - they teach you something."

"I have no idea what you just said, but it sounded amazing."

"One day, you're going to look back and realize how much I helped you."

"People are morons."

"I'm going to give you some advice. Are you listening?"

"The pot calling the kettle black."

"I've seen things you wouldn't believe."

"That's what she said."

"Whenever I'm about to do something, I think, 'Would an idiot do that?' And if they would, I do not do that thing."

"I wake up every morning in a bed that's too small, drive my daughter to a school that's too far, and then I go to work to a job for which I get paid too little."

"This job would be great if it wasn't for all the people."

"I'm always right. That's my thing."

"Whatever it is, the company will probably use it to make money."

"I'm not racist. I have no problem with black people."

"You took me by the hand, made me a man."

"I've been a lot of things in my life. A cartoonist, a basoon player, a vampire..."

"The eyes are the groin of the head."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"You have to accept reality."

"I've learned that loneliness is part of life."

"Everyone makes mistakes."

"I'm here to stay."

"You can't always get what you want."