The Office

"I have never understood the appeal of casual relationships."

"The office is where I spend most of my waking hours, so it should be orderly."

"I don't trust people who use too many exclamation points."

"People are fundamentally disappointing."

"My mother taught me to value propriety above all else."

"Time moves differently when you're with someone you love."

"I believe in the power of prayer and also the power of a good spreadsheet."

"The pursuit of happiness is a noble goal, but it's often futile."

"Kevin's chili is an abomination against food."

"I don't have a problem with the modern world, but I also don't embrace it."

"Cats have nine lives, which is why they're superior."

"I have very little patience for incompetence."

"Dwight and I are like soulmates, but God forbid anyone knows."

"I'm on my way to a religious convention in North Carolina."

"Some people are not meant to be happy. Some people are meant to be lawyers."

"Literature is a dying art form, and it makes me sad."

"I believe in the sanctity of marriage, and I take it very seriously."

"The Lord works in mysterious ways, but he also works efficiently."

"Schrute Farms is a beet farm, not a beet plantation."

"I have very strong opinions about things that don't matter."

"Cats are superior to dogs in every way."

"The heart wants what it wants, even if that's someone completely inappropriate."

"I'm not superstitious, but I am a little stitious."

"I believe in second chances for everyone."

"Life is too short to be unhappy."

"I've learned that patience pays off."

"Love is the most powerful force."

"You have to believe in yourself."

"I'm inspired by the strength of others."

"The future is what you make it."