Arrested Development

"My family is insane, but I fit right in"

"I've never been one to follow the rules"

"Solitude is great until you realize you're alone"

"Relationships are like a job, but you don't get paid"

"Inspiration comes when you least expect it, usually when you're desperate"

"Motivation is just peer pressure with good intentions"

"War is terrible, but sometimes you have to fight for what you want"

"Politics is basically a con game anyway"

"Literature teaches you how to lie better"

"Philosophy is just thinking about stuff really hard"

"History repeats itself, so if you know history, you can get away with anything"

"Technology is great until it betrays you"

"Imagination is unlimited, unlike your bank account"

"Adventure is just controlled chaos"

"Health is wealth, but wealth buys better doctors"

"Money can't buy happiness, but it buys pretty much everything else"

"Power corrupts, but being powerless is worse"

"Fear is just your body telling you something's wrong"

"Strength is overrated; intelligence is the real power"

"Kindness is nice in theory, but it doesn't pay"

"Patience is a virtue I don't have"

"Justice is whatever the person with more power says it is"

"Creativity is just lying with confidence"

"I'm grateful for a lot of things, mostly my good looks"

"Perseverance is just not giving up, even when you should"

"Death is scary, so I try not to think about it"

"Beauty fades, but money is forever"

"Humor is the best way to get out of trouble"

"Dreams are nice, but reality pays the bills"

"I'm basically a genius, I just haven't proven it yet"