Arrested Development

"Justice is whatever you can afford a good lawyer for"

"Creativity is the art of not getting caught"

"I'm grateful for people stupid enough to fall for my schemes"

"Perseverance is just being too stubborn to quit"

"Death is the one thing money can't buy you out of"

"I've learned that humor can get you out of almost any situation"

"Dreams don't pay the rent, but they sure are nice to think about"

"Beauty is only skin deep, but money goes all the way to the bank"

"Peace is underrated until you realize how much chaos costs"

"Freedom is doing what you want without hurting anyone you care about"

"The truth will set you free, but it might also ruin your plans"

"Time is money, and I'm usually short on both"

"The more you know, the more you realize how little you know"

"Education is important, but so is common sense"

"Change is inevitable, so you might as well be the one changing things"

"Courage is doing something even when you're terrified"

"I've never let the truth get in the way of a good story"

"Happiness is a choice, and I choose whatever makes me happiest"

"Love is just a word people use to justify their terrible decisions"

"I like to keep my options open and my friends closer"

"Life's too short to hold grudges, but not too short to hold money"

"I've found that flattery gets you everywhere"

"The key to success is looking like you know what you're doing"

"Science is cool, but magic is cooler"

"Faith is believing in something without proof, like my future"

"Music is the universal language of people with feelings"

"I take leadership very seriously when there's something in it for me"

"Hope is for people who don't have a backup plan"

"You have to work hard to get what you want, or work smart to avoid working"

"I've learned to go with the flow and improvise"