Futurama

"Creativity is just inventing new ways to break the law."

"I'm grateful for three things: myself, myself, and myself."

"Keep going, even when everyone tells you you're a terrible robot."

"Death doesn't scare me. Taxes do."

"Beauty fades, but a good score lasts forever."

"Why be serious when you can be hilarious and criminal?"

"My dreams are all x-rated and probably illegal."

"Work hard, play hard, steal harder."

"Leadership is about knowing when to take charge and when to take off."

"Faith is for the weak. I've got a gun."

"I don't know much about music, but I know what I like to steal."

"Science says I shouldn't drink and bend, but science can kiss my shiny metal ass."

"Art is subjective. So is crime. So is friendship."

"Nature? More like Nature's bounty to steal from."

"I find peace in the simple things: stealing, drinking, and hanging with my buddies."

"Freedom is just another word for not getting arrested."

"The truth is, nobody really cares what you do as long as you're entertaining."

"Time is money, and I'm gonna steal both."

"Knowledge is power, but power is more fun."

"You learn more from failure than success. I've had lots of practice."

"The only thing constant in life is change and my desire to commit theft."

"Peace is boring. Give me chaos and mayhem."

"I've got dreams, and they all involve money."

"Work is for suckers. Stealing's more fun."

"Hope? That's just an excuse to disappoint yourself later."

"Technology is great when it helps you commit crimes."

"I don't trust nobody, which is why I'm a successful thief."

"The world's full of suckers and I'm here to prove it."

"I'm built for bending, not thinking. Leave the philosophy to the professor."

"My apartment may be a dump, but it's my dump."