Futurama

"Politics: where the truly incompetent shine."

"Literature is just words on paper. Why not just look out the window?"

"I aspire to nothing and achieve less."

"Work is what you do to avoid thinking about your problems."

"The best time of my life was yesterday. Before I remembered today."

"Good morning, or whatever."

"I've never understood women, and I'm fine with that."

"What is 'freedom'? I just know what I'm told to know."

"Courage is doing things even when you know it will go wrong."

"Hope is a four-letter word."

"Success is the best revenge, unless you're revengeful, then revenge is."

"Family is what you're stuck with when nobody else will have you."

"Friendship is a beautiful thing. Now leave me alone."

"Solitude suits me fine. It's people I can't stand."

"Education is important. Unfortunately, I never got any."

"Change is the only constant, except for my constant confusion."

"Music to my ears! Wait, is it? I can't hear anymore."

"Nature is wonderful, except for all the bugs."

"Peace is just war on pause."

"Beauty is in the eye of the beholder, and I need stronger glasses."

"Dreams are where reality goes to fail."

"I have the strength of a man a third my age... when I was younger."

"Kindness is just weakness with a nice outfit."

"Patience is a virtue I've never had."

"My mind's not what it used to be. What did it used to be?"

"Is there no justice in this world?!"

"The past is a prison."

"I've made a lot of mistakes, but at least they were interesting."

"What good is being rich if you can't spend it on impractical inventions?"

"Faith is the belief in something you know isn't true."