Futurama

"Perhaps it's time for me to step aside and let younger, more confused people take the helm."

"Your questions are making me uncomfortable."

"The universe is vast and complex, and I'm a very old man."

"Aha! I found the solution: more science!"

"Is it evil to want to kill yourself? No, wait, that's not evil, that's just sad."

"I'm not insane, I'm just not sane."

"That's the spirit! The spirit that leads to certain doom."

"In my experience, there's no such thing as luck. Just fortune."

"Congratulations! I think? Actually, I have no idea what you're saying."

"I've made a decision. I'm going to live forever, or die trying."

"Ah, the future! The last refuge of the incompetent."

"That's the nature of exploring—things go wrong."

"Sometimes the only way to fix something is to break it."

"Good luck, and I do mean good luck, because you're going to need it."

"What's an 'internet'? Is it a trap?"

"Beautiful! Sure to be a bestseller in the fly world."

"I'm 160 years old! Nothing makes sense anymore!"

"Have I been zapped?"

"Ah, the thrill of invention! Though mostly it's tedium and failure."

"The fact of the matter is, I may have accidentally invented a machine that destroys all life."

"You're all fired! Wait, you can't all be fired. Who would work?"

"I'm going to go cry into my can of creamed corn."

"In my day, people didn't go gallivanting around the cosmos."

"That's the wonderful thing about knowledge: you get to keep it forever."

"Adventure? I'm afraid of adventure!"

"I've reached the age where my back goes out more than I do."

"Yes, yes! But where's my kidney?!"

"Interesting! No, wait... the other thing. Tedious."

"Now, I don't want you to panic, but we're all probably going to die."

"I'm sorry, did you say something? I wasn't listening."