Futurama

"Adventure is just another word for poor planning."

"Health is overrated. I'd rather spend my time inventing things."

"Money can't buy happiness, but it can buy several things that distract from unhappiness."

"Power is what I seek, which is why I've surrounded myself with incompetent people."

"Fear keeps us alive. Fear and paranoia."

"Strength comes from eating well and not thinking too hard about mortality."

"Kindness is weakness that feels good temporarily."

"Patience is a virtue I've never had time to develop."

"Justice is best served cold, preferably with a side of revenge."

"Creative people are usually broke, insane, or both. Preferably both."

"I'm grateful for many things, mostly that I'm still alive."

"Perseverance is the art of failing repeatedly until you eventually succeed or die."

"Death is nothing to be afraid of. I'm more afraid of being without my pill."

"Beauty fades, but stupidity is forever."

"I dream of a world where I can do whatever I want without consequences."

"Work is what you do to afford the things you don't have time to enjoy."

"A good leader is someone people want to follow. Or someone they fear."

"I have faith that my experiments won't destroy the Earth. Mostly."

"Music to my ears would be the sound of my competitors failing."

"I've seen wonders you couldn't possibly imagine. Then I forgot about them."

"Peace is possible only when everyone agrees with me."

"Freedom is overrated. I prefer to be controlled by my desires."

"The truth is often disappointing. Usually because it involves me being wrong."

"Time moves differently when you're old. Mostly forward, but sometimes backward."

"Education is wasted on the young. They're too busy learning to appreciate it."

"Change is inevitable. Which is why I refuse to change my clothes."

"Courage is what you feel right before you do something incredibly stupid."

"I've created so many inventions, I can't remember if I invented myself."

"What's the most important thing in life? Probably not whatever you're doing."

"The future's so bright, I had to invent sunglasses."