The Office

"Politics are important. I have very strong political opinions."

"Literature expands the mind. I read sometimes."

"Philosophy teaches us to question everything. Except my decisions."

"History is written by the victors. I plan to be a victor."

"Technology is the future. I'm very tech-savvy."

"Imagination is more important than knowledge. I have both."

"Adventure awaits those bold enough to seize it. I seize things constantly."

"Health is wealth. I'm very wealthy."

"Fear is just an opportunity to be brave. I'm always brave."

"True strength is being vulnerable. Also, I'm very strong."

"Kindness costs nothing. Which is why I practice it sparingly."

"Patience is a virtue I'm still working on."

"Justice means everyone gets what they deserve. I deserve a lot."

"Creativity comes from within. I'm very creative."

"Gratitude is important. I'm grateful for my many talents."

"Perseverance is key. I've persevered through many failed business ventures."

"Family is everything. My family is everything to me."

"I value loyalty above all else. In others."

"Time waits for no man. Especially not temp workers."

"Knowledge is power. So is having connections."

"Change is inevitable. Usually change for the worse."

"I believe in second chances. I've needed quite a few."

"Success is 99% luck and 1% hard work. Or was it the other way around?"

"Real love means being there, even when it's inconvenient. Actually, no, convenience is important."

"Life is about knowing when to hold on and when to let go. Mostly holding on though."

"People respect confidence. Even when it's not justified."

"I'm destined for greatness. It's just taking longer than expected."

"Money doesn't buy happiness, but it buys a lot of other things."

"The key to a successful relationship is communication. And not getting caught."

"I went to Cornell. Ever heard of it?"