Futurama

"Money cannot buy love, but it can buy things that make love unnecessary."

"I've survived this long, so I must be doing something right. Or very, very wrong."

"Perhaps one day I will find my purpose... or at least a nice meal."

"A true friend stabs you in the back without asking questions first."

"In all my years of living, I've realized I don't understand any of it."

"Death is just another thing that will probably happen to me."

"I've learned that most of my problems come from my own stupidity, which means I can fix them!"

"Is there any wisdom in a life lived mostly underwater and mostly confused?"

"My people taught me that suffering builds character. I must be amazing."

"Perhaps I'll find love among the stars... or at least some free food."

"Why must we hurt the ones we love by existing near them?"

"I'm not a robot, I'm a Decapodian. There's a difference... mostly in the tentacles."

"Wha... why is my love life worse than my credit score?"

"Freedom is doing whatever I want, consequences be damned."

"The truth is, I'm more sensitive than people think."

"I'm a romantic at heart, a bender at work, and a felon by trade."

"Change is inevitable; bending accelerates it."

"Courage is doing the right thing even when it's not profitable."

"Dreams don't come true unless you steal them from someone else."

"Work is a four-letter word... wait, that's five letters. Whatever."

"Leadership is knowing when to bend and when to break."

"I believe in myself, which is lucky because nobody else does."

"Music makes life worth living, unless it's robot opera."

"Art is what separates us from the animals... and from honest work."

"Technology is my playground, and the world is my jungle gym."

"Education expands the mind; bending expands the world."

"The greatest gift is friendship, the second greatest is loot."

"I've made peace with my past... most of it, anyway."

"Money makes the world go round, and I make money bending."

"Power corrupts; absolute power corrupts absolutely... let's go!"